Passes

Advice to new hires: Do not ever give inmates blank passes, no matter how tired you are of writing them. A blank pass in the hands of an inmate can be horribly devastating, causing problems beyond your wildest dreams. On one occasion an inmate got hold of a blank pass and thought it would be cool to write a pass to visiting for an inmate who had no family close to the facility. In fact, his family is from California. The inmate receiving the pass did not think for a minute that it could be a hoax, and did not check with staff. He simply accepted the pass from the other inmate, and prepared to go on his visit, getting all spruced up in the shower, and putting on his best khaki uniform. Of course, his family was not there, but to make things worse, the inmate got locked up for a possible escape attempt.

“Tell me about this massaging thing.”

“Well, people come to my house, take off their clothes, and I rub oil all over them. Thank you God.”