We are magnificent stewards of the taxpayer’s dollar. I spent the entire day watching a truck belonging to Terminix. The state paid them to salvage a crumbling building by spraying it for termites. My entire day was spent shooing away inmates with too many questions. Some of them, however, were very entertaining.
“Why would a termite eat that piece of shit I call home?”
“Come on, don’t be silly. A termite will eat anything cellulose; paper, wood, insulation, especially if there is a gap between the brick fascia and the frame.”
“Hey Batiste, check out that termite guy’s hose! Have you ever rolled out that much hose?”
“Ha-ha, very funny mother-fucker.”
“Hey Batiste, speaking of long hoses, can you do audio-felatio?”
“What’s that, where I listen to you sucking my dick?” “No Silly, it’s where you do it yourself.”
“That would be auto-felatio, you dumbfuck.” “That sounds like you’re doing it in a car.”
“I watched my brother doggy-style a chick in the back-seat of a car once.”
“Batiste, can you do…what did you call it?” “Auto-fellatio?”
“Yah, auto-fellatio?”
“Two things: If I could, I would not tell you; and again, if I could, I would not be here.”
“Well, I’m getting close,” as he holds two fingers up within an inch of each other.
“I don’t wanna hear that shit!” “Ya know how I stretch?”
“No, but why don’t you tell YOUR caseworker.”
“I lay on my back on the floor, with my head about two or three feet from a wall, slow my breathing, pull my excess stomach out of the way, and throw my legs up to the wall behind me. Then I walk my feet down the wall until my knees touch the floor by my ears.”
“Stop.”
“Then I start spreading my knees out, watching my wiener get closer to my face.”
“STOP!”
“Didn’t you ever want to suck your own dick?”
“I could do it when I was 17 years old and weighed 130 lbs, but shortly into my military career, I had more volunteers than I knew what to do with. At that time, I could have modeled the proper method for them, but they were all performing sufficiently. No correction was necessary. I’ve since lost the desire and the flexibility.”
At home in my bedroom, I began stretching my back, just to see if I could touch my knees next to my ears.
“Dude, that’s like having your father-in-law eavesdrop the clothes-lines-conversation between you and his granddaughter’s panties.”
“Why would a termite eat that piece of shit I call home?”
“Come on, don’t be silly. A termite will eat anything cellulose; paper, wood, insulation, especially if there is a gap between the brick fascia and the frame.”
“Hey Batiste, check out that termite guy’s hose! Have you ever rolled out that much hose?”
“Ha-ha, very funny mother-fucker.”
“Hey Batiste, speaking of long hoses, can you do audio-felatio?”
“What’s that, where I listen to you sucking my dick?” “No Silly, it’s where you do it yourself.”
“That would be auto-felatio, you dumbfuck.” “That sounds like you’re doing it in a car.”
“I watched my brother doggy-style a chick in the back-seat of a car once.”
“Batiste, can you do…what did you call it?” “Auto-fellatio?”
“Yah, auto-fellatio?”
“Two things: If I could, I would not tell you; and again, if I could, I would not be here.”
“Well, I’m getting close,” as he holds two fingers up within an inch of each other.
“I don’t wanna hear that shit!” “Ya know how I stretch?”
“No, but why don’t you tell YOUR caseworker.”
“I lay on my back on the floor, with my head about two or three feet from a wall, slow my breathing, pull my excess stomach out of the way, and throw my legs up to the wall behind me. Then I walk my feet down the wall until my knees touch the floor by my ears.”
“Stop.”
“Then I start spreading my knees out, watching my wiener get closer to my face.”
“STOP!”
“Didn’t you ever want to suck your own dick?”
“I could do it when I was 17 years old and weighed 130 lbs, but shortly into my military career, I had more volunteers than I knew what to do with. At that time, I could have modeled the proper method for them, but they were all performing sufficiently. No correction was necessary. I’ve since lost the desire and the flexibility.”
At home in my bedroom, I began stretching my back, just to see if I could touch my knees next to my ears.
“Dude, that’s like having your father-in-law eavesdrop the clothes-lines-conversation between you and his granddaughter’s panties.”
No comments:
Post a Comment