Investigations and Indiscretions

Inmate Orville Pflugradt was transferred to us from The Lincoln Correctional Center (LCC) due to some indiscretions that involved staff. I touched on this a bit previously. For staff, it was a cover up. Nobody wanted to admit their involvement with or investigate sexual relationships, especially when somebody had already resigned to avoid jail time. Orville is not an attractive inmate, but he had learned enough regarding how to provide incentives and/or thought provoking potential threats on family members to convince two female staff members to begin providing him with sexual favors. It started out as innocent as a church conversation. Orville would build confidence through ice-breaking conversation. Eventually he would learn everything about you, and make you look forward to seeing him everyday.

LCC had transferred inmate Pflugradt to us after he had a relationship with a female staff member at that facility. After his transfer, Flu claimed he lost interest in women.

“Hey, Batiste, the weirdest fucking thing just happened to me.”
I reluctantly stated, “What.”

“I was standing in my room, and I felt something evil pass through me.”
“How do you know it was evil?”

“It made me want to do bad things. Has anybody ever died in my room?”
“Well, I was down there this morning doing a shake down, and I shit myself pretty good.”
“Maybe that’s what it was. I hope somebody did die in my room, because then I’d have somebody to talk to.”
“Shit Flu, that breeze you felt was just because I removed the fuckin’ rags from the vent cover again.”
“Can I have dog, Batiste?” “No.”
“Why?”

“Cuz you’d fuck it.”

“No, I don’t think I would. But if I had an inflatable doll, I’d never leave my cell. If I had a dog, I might train it to attack people.”

“Well there you have it. You can’t have a dog, because you’d train it to attack people.”
“No I wouldn’t. I was just kidding. I swear to God.” “Flu, you’re an atheist.”
“Don’t talk to me when I’m trying to listen to you! What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”
“Atheists don’t swear to God, because they don’t believe in Him.”
“It’s just a euphemism, Batiste. You like that word? I learned it from you. I just wanted you to think I’m actually being serious.”
“Are you?”

“Look man, it’s not my fault. My brother and I were raised in a dog cage. That fuckin’ retard actually started barking. The funny thing is, when he would bark, it made him swallow his gum. You know it takes seven years to digest that shit. I won’t even chew it.”
“It does not take seven years to digest gum; in fact, you should see it right next to your corn the next day.”
“I don’t eat hot dogs either. My Daddy says there’s peckers in ‘em. You eat that shit, you’ll probably go into prophylactic shock. I shouldn’t be telling you all this personal shit. I swear on my life if I complain about it again, I’ll beat the shit out of myself.”
“Its okay, Flu, we all need an avenue for ventilation.” “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“What I meant to say is we all need somebody to listen to us once in a while.”
“Well, why the fuck didn’t you just say that then?”

“I don’t know Flu; perhaps I’m just trying to prevent the onset of stupidity. I’ve heard that working here can actually make a person less intelligent.”
“No shit, huh, look at me.”

“You’re not foolin’ anybody Flu. I know you are a pretty smart guy under that rough exterior.”
“Oh yah, well why don’t you share one of your problems with me then?”
“Well, okay, let me think for a minute here. Okay, here is one for you. I’m having a problem with reverse racism. I’m not sure that’s accurate. I’m upset because inmates call me racist. I shouldn’t let it get to me. I know they say it just because I’m not going to do something they want me to do.”

“I’m a racist, Batiste,” Ignoring that fact that he requested a problem to assist me with, “In fact; I used to be in the Aryan Brotherhood. See my tat?” Flu rolled up his left shirt sleeve, and then realized it was on his other arm, so he rolled that one up as well. “We used to be called the bluebirds, but that sounded too much like a second-grade reading group, so we changed the name to the thunderbolts. That’s why I have these thunderbolts tattooed on my chest.”

“That’s nice work, Flu.”

“Hey, where was you last week?”

“I was at the training academy, learning about emergency preparedness training. It’s stuff to do with crisis negotiating and hostage situations.”
“Have we ever had a hostage take-over?” I chuckled, “I don’t think so.”
“What are you laughing about? Do you know how hard it is to take my pills with a straight face?”
“I thought the Doc changed your meds?”

“He did. Doc said they were making me ding out and get mad. I’m still mad, but at least I’m happy about it. I still don’t think he had no right to defuse my meds. The pills make me too tired to argue with the voices. They are meant to control crazy people.”
“Who ever said you were crazy?”

“I’ve never thought of anything weird for awhile.”


“You’re a little like democracy. You suck, but you’re better than the alternatives. You know, democracy; you don’t always get your way, but you always get your say.”