A sick-bay commando in The Marine Corps is somebody who burns a great deal of sick-time, or visits sick call frequently. It is merely an attempt at getting out of doing unpleasant work. I knew Corporal Olsten, but it was a miracle that we had ever met. We only worked three days in common due to having different weekend days, and he called in sick so many times we rarely crossed paths.
Corporal Olsten loved to have women sit on his face. He claimed that his nickname in the Corps was Applause, because he had caught the clap so many times. He loved the facial so much that he did not mind if unpleasant things occurred on occasion. Olsten tells a story about a time when he was a young Marine. He and a drunken married woman whose husband just left town on a military tour of the Western-Pacific Ocean got together for some strange activities. Olsten called it a “Hot Carl,” and it involved him lying on his back with Saran Wrap covering his face. Meanwhile, the drunken lady squatted down and shit on him. I do not know if it was hot, but I bet the first person to do it was named Carl. After telling the story once, Olsten’s nickname was just that, Hot Carl.
I am sure somebody knows why Brenda was nicknamed “Hot Brenda” by the inmates, but it can not be because she was hot. You could see the hail damage through her pants. Her hair made her look a little like Captain Kangaroo (also a prior Marine), and she had some DSLs, so I could see why an inmate might think so.
Ironically, Corporal Olsten was working overtime in a control station. His intention was to build a day and half of comp time to take off more time, but it was difficult for him to accomplish because he almost always took off a sick day in the same pay period, nullifying his overtime earnings.
“Oh come on, and Princess Fiona doesn’t look half bad as an ogre either.”
“Well, she has those ear-handles, those DSLs, and those fat titties!”
“Yah, but she’s one chromosome away from mongolism.”
We had told each other a few Marine stories and had come to the realization that we both thrived on Captain Morgan. Then I asked him, “How much Morgan would it take for you to screw Hot Brenda?”
“Most of a handle.” he replied. “Would you let her sit on your face?” “Got any Saran Wrap?”
Before he knew it, I had called half of my buddies, and explained to them that Hot Carl was looking for some Saran Wrap. Each time I told the story, it got better and more in detail. Then it got back to Brenda. Any possible future hanky-panky that she might have been contemplating was now a distant fantasy. She was pissed. Brenda immediately called Lieutenant Andrzejewsky, hoping she could calm the storm of ribbing she had begun to take. Unfortunately for me, Andrzejewsky took the professional approach, and ordered Brenda to write an incident report. That report showed up on Andrzejewsky’s desk, who then forwarded it to the Major. It then became an investigation of sexual harassment featuring me and Hot Carl as the co-defendants. I was still on caseworker probation. Hell, I was not even half-way through with it. This could not go well.
I knew they were not taking it seriously when it was assigned to Unit Manager Robin Lyons. He is not a bad guy as far as unit managers go. It was just widely known that he was not into investigations, and that he and I were pals. I knew that he would recommend that it get dropped like a hot rock.
How invisibility happened, I do not know. I simply hoped to be and I was. Once in that state, I naturally searched for girls’ locker rooms. My idea was to get in the showers and wash all the girls with lots of soap suds. I was invisible, and they closed their eyes, so they thought it was just another girl washing their backs. Standing behind them, and carefully sliding the head of my pecker in the crack of their asses was slippery work with all those suds. They never said a word. I was so gentle. Then I would wrap my arms and hands around their front to fondle their always ample breasts, while carefully sliding my pecker between their butt-cheeks.
“If they complete their behavior modification plan all week, they get a Scooby snack, just like second graders.”
Corporal Olsten loved to have women sit on his face. He claimed that his nickname in the Corps was Applause, because he had caught the clap so many times. He loved the facial so much that he did not mind if unpleasant things occurred on occasion. Olsten tells a story about a time when he was a young Marine. He and a drunken married woman whose husband just left town on a military tour of the Western-Pacific Ocean got together for some strange activities. Olsten called it a “Hot Carl,” and it involved him lying on his back with Saran Wrap covering his face. Meanwhile, the drunken lady squatted down and shit on him. I do not know if it was hot, but I bet the first person to do it was named Carl. After telling the story once, Olsten’s nickname was just that, Hot Carl.
I am sure somebody knows why Brenda was nicknamed “Hot Brenda” by the inmates, but it can not be because she was hot. You could see the hail damage through her pants. Her hair made her look a little like Captain Kangaroo (also a prior Marine), and she had some DSLs, so I could see why an inmate might think so.
Ironically, Corporal Olsten was working overtime in a control station. His intention was to build a day and half of comp time to take off more time, but it was difficult for him to accomplish because he almost always took off a sick day in the same pay period, nullifying his overtime earnings.
“Oh come on, and Princess Fiona doesn’t look half bad as an ogre either.”
“Well, she has those ear-handles, those DSLs, and those fat titties!”
“Yah, but she’s one chromosome away from mongolism.”
We had told each other a few Marine stories and had come to the realization that we both thrived on Captain Morgan. Then I asked him, “How much Morgan would it take for you to screw Hot Brenda?”
“Most of a handle.” he replied. “Would you let her sit on your face?” “Got any Saran Wrap?”
Before he knew it, I had called half of my buddies, and explained to them that Hot Carl was looking for some Saran Wrap. Each time I told the story, it got better and more in detail. Then it got back to Brenda. Any possible future hanky-panky that she might have been contemplating was now a distant fantasy. She was pissed. Brenda immediately called Lieutenant Andrzejewsky, hoping she could calm the storm of ribbing she had begun to take. Unfortunately for me, Andrzejewsky took the professional approach, and ordered Brenda to write an incident report. That report showed up on Andrzejewsky’s desk, who then forwarded it to the Major. It then became an investigation of sexual harassment featuring me and Hot Carl as the co-defendants. I was still on caseworker probation. Hell, I was not even half-way through with it. This could not go well.
I knew they were not taking it seriously when it was assigned to Unit Manager Robin Lyons. He is not a bad guy as far as unit managers go. It was just widely known that he was not into investigations, and that he and I were pals. I knew that he would recommend that it get dropped like a hot rock.
How invisibility happened, I do not know. I simply hoped to be and I was. Once in that state, I naturally searched for girls’ locker rooms. My idea was to get in the showers and wash all the girls with lots of soap suds. I was invisible, and they closed their eyes, so they thought it was just another girl washing their backs. Standing behind them, and carefully sliding the head of my pecker in the crack of their asses was slippery work with all those suds. They never said a word. I was so gentle. Then I would wrap my arms and hands around their front to fondle their always ample breasts, while carefully sliding my pecker between their butt-cheeks.
“If they complete their behavior modification plan all week, they get a Scooby snack, just like second graders.”
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