“What the fuck is that…a bonsai tree?” “Yah.”
“Why are you being so careful?”
“You don’t want to damage the chi of the bush.”
“I think the chi in my bush has already been damaged.”
“Well, don’t let some giant-ass cat out of the bag.”
Regina Busey-Abels has been in the department for a long time. On her first go-round at LCC she was walking past the display case of inmate hobby items. LCC used to have a serious mental health ward, and the inmates there were allowed to create paper-mache projects. Paper mache was fairly safe. About the only thing they could do was eat too much of the paste, like most of them did in elementary school. They are probably in the mental health wing because they ate too much of it in the first place. One object that caught Regina’s attention was a strangely sculpted tree. The tree had two branches with a bird on each branch. In the center of the tree, coiled around it all the way to the top was a snake, with fangs bared. The center of the trunk had a slot for coins, as it was a bank. Other than the tree being brown, the color scheme was all fucked up. The snake was electric lime green with yellow stripes and pink polka dots, and the birds looked like they were a strange combination of cardinal and robin with the same combination of colors. Regina made the comment that this piece was the ugliest piece of shit she had ever seen in her life. A few of her co-workers were in earshot.
Shortly after this event, Regina was promoted and took a job at NSP. Her co-workers took up a collection and purchased the tree-sculpture eyesore as a joke. At her going away party, they presented it to her as a farewell gift.
The presentation of that farewell gift began the tradition. As each co-worker from that small group of friends promoted through the system in different facilities, a committee was put together to find the ugly bastard, so they could once again, present it to the new proud owner. Since that time, Regina has received it again, and passed it on to another lucky recipient. All traditions come to an end eventually, and she attempted to make the most recent eyesore passing the last. From this point on, the passing of the bird-bank will be more difficult. The most recent recipient was Warren Ingargolia, upon his farewell. Warren is taking it with him to Walla Walla, better known as the Washington State Penitentiary.
“The more parents I meet, the more children I forgive.”
“Why are you being so careful?”
“You don’t want to damage the chi of the bush.”
“I think the chi in my bush has already been damaged.”
“Well, don’t let some giant-ass cat out of the bag.”
Regina Busey-Abels has been in the department for a long time. On her first go-round at LCC she was walking past the display case of inmate hobby items. LCC used to have a serious mental health ward, and the inmates there were allowed to create paper-mache projects. Paper mache was fairly safe. About the only thing they could do was eat too much of the paste, like most of them did in elementary school. They are probably in the mental health wing because they ate too much of it in the first place. One object that caught Regina’s attention was a strangely sculpted tree. The tree had two branches with a bird on each branch. In the center of the tree, coiled around it all the way to the top was a snake, with fangs bared. The center of the trunk had a slot for coins, as it was a bank. Other than the tree being brown, the color scheme was all fucked up. The snake was electric lime green with yellow stripes and pink polka dots, and the birds looked like they were a strange combination of cardinal and robin with the same combination of colors. Regina made the comment that this piece was the ugliest piece of shit she had ever seen in her life. A few of her co-workers were in earshot.
Shortly after this event, Regina was promoted and took a job at NSP. Her co-workers took up a collection and purchased the tree-sculpture eyesore as a joke. At her going away party, they presented it to her as a farewell gift.
The presentation of that farewell gift began the tradition. As each co-worker from that small group of friends promoted through the system in different facilities, a committee was put together to find the ugly bastard, so they could once again, present it to the new proud owner. Since that time, Regina has received it again, and passed it on to another lucky recipient. All traditions come to an end eventually, and she attempted to make the most recent eyesore passing the last. From this point on, the passing of the bird-bank will be more difficult. The most recent recipient was Warren Ingargolia, upon his farewell. Warren is taking it with him to Walla Walla, better known as the Washington State Penitentiary.
“The more parents I meet, the more children I forgive.”
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