“She has a genetic predisposition to be overweight.” “Wait a minute Count, genetics are not always a concern.
Look at us. My parents were athletic superstars. My siblings and I have a predisposition to be athletic, yet if it wasn’t for my oldest brother playing football for the junior Wolverines and the lack of interest in our local cross-country team, my sister would be the only one to ever play varsity anything.”
Count is justified, in his own mind, for cheating on his wife. For years he has been compiling the list of categories that make a good spouse. Count knows in his own head that he does not make the perfect husband, but he weighs categories differently, and feels that he is good at what is important. Of course, he omits in his own mind that fidelity is up there in importance as well. Thinking about fidelity to Count was like choosing a religion that was convenient. He frequently talked about Blue Collar’s Ron White, and his theories on relationships.
Mr. White would say, “When you enter into a monogamous relationship, you are having a great deal of sex, so of course you sign the papers, saying you will always stay together. But when the other person stops having sex all together, you find yourself in quite a pickle.”
Count always says there should be 10 categories or characteristics that make a good spouse, so for the sake of argument; we will say that there are ten. They include, but are not limited to: Appeal to your spouse – they do not have to be beautiful, but they should have some redeeming qualities when viewed by their significant other; Brains – they do not have to be smart, but they should be of comparable value to their partner; Communication skills; Work ethic; Parenting skills; etc…
Charlie never could come up with a solid ten at one time, and the details seem to change as well, but the two categories, the two missing categories, that are most important to him are the following: Real passion…or faked passion (don’t be a fuckin’ dead fish) for the sake of your marriage when you are in intimate situations; and most importantly, because it is lacking the most, SUPPORT THE DREAM, the dream of being somebody. It always left him quietly simmering.
Count’s wife, according to Count, always complained about everything. For starters, when he started back to college, it cost too much. When he earned the Master’s Degree, what good was it? When he trained to run a marathon, it took too much time away from the family. When he made the rifle team with his guard unit, he could never be worth a shit, so why did he practice so much in the backyard? When he won two national matches, what good were the medals? When he wanted to write a book, his material offended her. He could not help that his first attempt did not have a large target audience. All he had ever known was the smut and porn he had learned in the Marine Corps.
Count tried to write a book about dream manipulation but it failed miserably. The book had been difficult to write, and Freud was a tough act to follow. The twist of important ideas and strange epiphanies seemed ordinary on the page. Count thought that people would be interested in how to check if you were dreaming, or how to stay in a dream. Those were things he was interested in, so thinking that others would want to know was natural.
Count’s research and experimentation revealed that you could easily verify you were in a dream simply by checking your wallet. Most men keep it in the same place all the time, regardless of the pants they are wearing. If you do not know whether or not you are dreaming, check that pocket, pull out your wallet, and look at your driver’s license. When you are in a dream, the picture will be of somebody else. I do not know why it happens, but it does.
Once you realize that you are definitely in a dream, you are free, and you can do anything you want, with practice. Staying in a dream when you feel yourself waking requires practice as well. Count learned through practice and research that rotating your body (not in reality, but in your head) keeps you in your dream. We all have those times when we do not want to wake up. The problem with the book was that most of Count’s personal examples were perverted.
Claire’s outlook on life was skewed. She had the weapons-grade perkiness of Katie Couric publicly, but her vision of success was purely financially based. It had nothing to do with accomplishment and personal happiness.
14Yet you say, “For what reason?” because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
15But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16“For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
“Inmates and staff have jobs that are related to each other much like that of Wiley Coyote and the sheepdog. They clock in, and they start fucking with each other.”
Look at us. My parents were athletic superstars. My siblings and I have a predisposition to be athletic, yet if it wasn’t for my oldest brother playing football for the junior Wolverines and the lack of interest in our local cross-country team, my sister would be the only one to ever play varsity anything.”
Count is justified, in his own mind, for cheating on his wife. For years he has been compiling the list of categories that make a good spouse. Count knows in his own head that he does not make the perfect husband, but he weighs categories differently, and feels that he is good at what is important. Of course, he omits in his own mind that fidelity is up there in importance as well. Thinking about fidelity to Count was like choosing a religion that was convenient. He frequently talked about Blue Collar’s Ron White, and his theories on relationships.
Mr. White would say, “When you enter into a monogamous relationship, you are having a great deal of sex, so of course you sign the papers, saying you will always stay together. But when the other person stops having sex all together, you find yourself in quite a pickle.”
Count always says there should be 10 categories or characteristics that make a good spouse, so for the sake of argument; we will say that there are ten. They include, but are not limited to: Appeal to your spouse – they do not have to be beautiful, but they should have some redeeming qualities when viewed by their significant other; Brains – they do not have to be smart, but they should be of comparable value to their partner; Communication skills; Work ethic; Parenting skills; etc…
Charlie never could come up with a solid ten at one time, and the details seem to change as well, but the two categories, the two missing categories, that are most important to him are the following: Real passion…or faked passion (don’t be a fuckin’ dead fish) for the sake of your marriage when you are in intimate situations; and most importantly, because it is lacking the most, SUPPORT THE DREAM, the dream of being somebody. It always left him quietly simmering.
Count’s wife, according to Count, always complained about everything. For starters, when he started back to college, it cost too much. When he earned the Master’s Degree, what good was it? When he trained to run a marathon, it took too much time away from the family. When he made the rifle team with his guard unit, he could never be worth a shit, so why did he practice so much in the backyard? When he won two national matches, what good were the medals? When he wanted to write a book, his material offended her. He could not help that his first attempt did not have a large target audience. All he had ever known was the smut and porn he had learned in the Marine Corps.
Count tried to write a book about dream manipulation but it failed miserably. The book had been difficult to write, and Freud was a tough act to follow. The twist of important ideas and strange epiphanies seemed ordinary on the page. Count thought that people would be interested in how to check if you were dreaming, or how to stay in a dream. Those were things he was interested in, so thinking that others would want to know was natural.
Count’s research and experimentation revealed that you could easily verify you were in a dream simply by checking your wallet. Most men keep it in the same place all the time, regardless of the pants they are wearing. If you do not know whether or not you are dreaming, check that pocket, pull out your wallet, and look at your driver’s license. When you are in a dream, the picture will be of somebody else. I do not know why it happens, but it does.
Once you realize that you are definitely in a dream, you are free, and you can do anything you want, with practice. Staying in a dream when you feel yourself waking requires practice as well. Count learned through practice and research that rotating your body (not in reality, but in your head) keeps you in your dream. We all have those times when we do not want to wake up. The problem with the book was that most of Count’s personal examples were perverted.
Claire’s outlook on life was skewed. She had the weapons-grade perkiness of Katie Couric publicly, but her vision of success was purely financially based. It had nothing to do with accomplishment and personal happiness.
14Yet you say, “For what reason?” because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.
15But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.
16“For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
“Inmates and staff have jobs that are related to each other much like that of Wiley Coyote and the sheepdog. They clock in, and they start fucking with each other.”
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