The only thing certain in times of great uncertainty is that people will behave with great strength or weakness, and with very little else in between. That said, there will be a downfall of man anyway. In fact, many will say we are in the process of falling down. Many point to the decay of the family. That is a pretty easy concept at which to point because it is tremendously vague. I want specifics so we can fix it. I think it has a great deal to do with timing. More specifically, the timing of two events in our lives. It is critical that the timing of two events in our lives should never coincide. The first is actually a varying time frame in which we hate our parents because we disagree with and hate every decision they make in our best interests. The second is the moment we realize that we can do something about it.
When I was a child, my generation’s dependence on our parents was tremendous. That level of dependence on elders for my parent’s generation was even greater. Our history demonstrates that generations prior to my grandparent’s relied on the passing down of skills and/or property as a major contributor to future success.
Time and technology have taken much of that away. I have seen it with my oldest child: A decreasing level of dependency, and I attribute a piece of that to the increase in communication tools. The largest part in my humble opinion still belongs to changing laws and society’s interpretation of what we can do to discipline our children.
When children learn that they have us by the proverbial short-hairs, what then? It reminds me of the story about the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion relied on the frog to swim him to safety while he traveled on his back. Stinging the frog would surely mean his demise. The scorpion stung anyway, saying,
“That is what scorpions do. It is my nature.”
Raising children today will drive a man to drink. So we talk about it. Are we doing anything about it? We talk about it, but not with the people we should. Ideally, we would discuss the problems with our spouses, and hatch a personal plan for collective enforcement in the home. In reality, we talk about it with people who have no control, and can make no contribution towards its resolve. We talk about it in bars, with drunks, whose plan is always the harshest extreme.
“We were not married for even six months, when I was forming the words in my mouth…I almost spit them out, when she said, ‘I’m three months pregnant.’”
“My parents hated Alice Cooper. The next generation of parents hated Marilyn Manson. I hate hip-hop and rap. I don’t even know why they call it music. All of that music is for rebels. That’s why parents hate it. Their children become rebels.”
“Oh, you want to know the lowest form of spineless jellyfish? My 15-year-old daughter got dumped by text message. Can a teenage-boy be anymore spineless?”
“Dude, when we were kids, if you had no balls, you just had your friends do it for you.”
“Or at the worst, you could call her on the phone.” “At least then you had to hear her cry.”
“The manliest way is still face to face.”
“I got my ass chewed because my oldest child is a drama queen and cried to Mom about unfair treatment. She claims I don’t treat her as well because she is not my biological daughter. Hell, she is 15 and I have raised her since she was a week shy of two. I love her like crazy. I have forgotten biology by now.”
“Sounds like they are in sync.”
“Menstrual cycles don’t really synchronize. That’s a myth. I have not observed that.”
“I got half-laid. I was on top of the old lady pounding away at the puss, when a child began crying. Obviously, the child required attention more than I did, so the wife got out of bed to attend to the matter. I waited a bit, long enough that I began to go limp, and the juice began to coagulate and peel like a snake-skin.”
“The psychology is too powerful. Somebody added DNA to the bastards, and they snapped overnight from sweet-innocent to manipulative-monster. Their theory on parents is to divide and conquer.”
“Fair and equal are not the same thing. Different kids have different needs. If I treat anybody differently, it has nothing to do with biology. If my treatment of children appears unequal, I can think of a few possible reasons; I am learning to be a better parent as I go. Any learning I gain, or change that the younger children benefit from does not make them my favorite. Another possible reason is that she is 15. I am cracking down on her because she is an active teenager who has learned all of Mom’s buttons. She is a master manipulator and turns her mother against me anytime she thinks she can benefit from it, without regard for what it is doing to our relationship.
Another reason is this; you see what you want to see and it is another item to which you can point when you are looking for my faults. That is what you do best. If I hate her so much, or love her less, why do I take time off from work to attend her games? Why do I worry about her boyfriends? Why do I buy new computers? Why do I get choked up over those songs about step-fathers or father-daughter relationships? Half the Man He Didn’t Have to Be; I Loved Her First. Why do I constantly forget she is not really mine? Why do I say she is part Hispanic on her elementary school questionnaires? She is 100% Bohunk, but when I filled out the Junior High demographics form, I filled in part Hispanic because I am. Why do I say, “You get that from your Grandpa,” when she shows promise in math and science? Oh, and most importantly, don’t forget this…FUCK OFF! I put in tremendous effort with her, I volunteered for the job when nobody else wanted it, and most importantly, where is it written that I have to? Where does it state that I should treat her the same as my biological children when she is not? I do it anyway because I love her as much as my own.”
“Dude, mellow out. Have another Morgan.”
“Maybe you should be having this conversation with your wife.”
“Nah, let’s just kill some more brain cells.”
“Alcohol does not kill brain cells. It simply damages the dendrites.”
“Well then, let’s damage some dendrites.” “Alcohol metabolizes as sugar.”
“No, it metabolizes as failure.”
“My Duong is not going to like this!” “What am I gonna tell My Duong?” “Where is My Duong?”
“Don’t you know?” “Is My Duong here?”
“My Duong is not going to like this!”
“I get the feeling My Duong is discharging soon.”
When I was a child, my generation’s dependence on our parents was tremendous. That level of dependence on elders for my parent’s generation was even greater. Our history demonstrates that generations prior to my grandparent’s relied on the passing down of skills and/or property as a major contributor to future success.
Time and technology have taken much of that away. I have seen it with my oldest child: A decreasing level of dependency, and I attribute a piece of that to the increase in communication tools. The largest part in my humble opinion still belongs to changing laws and society’s interpretation of what we can do to discipline our children.
When children learn that they have us by the proverbial short-hairs, what then? It reminds me of the story about the scorpion and the frog. The scorpion relied on the frog to swim him to safety while he traveled on his back. Stinging the frog would surely mean his demise. The scorpion stung anyway, saying,
“That is what scorpions do. It is my nature.”
Raising children today will drive a man to drink. So we talk about it. Are we doing anything about it? We talk about it, but not with the people we should. Ideally, we would discuss the problems with our spouses, and hatch a personal plan for collective enforcement in the home. In reality, we talk about it with people who have no control, and can make no contribution towards its resolve. We talk about it in bars, with drunks, whose plan is always the harshest extreme.
“We were not married for even six months, when I was forming the words in my mouth…I almost spit them out, when she said, ‘I’m three months pregnant.’”
“My parents hated Alice Cooper. The next generation of parents hated Marilyn Manson. I hate hip-hop and rap. I don’t even know why they call it music. All of that music is for rebels. That’s why parents hate it. Their children become rebels.”
“Oh, you want to know the lowest form of spineless jellyfish? My 15-year-old daughter got dumped by text message. Can a teenage-boy be anymore spineless?”
“Dude, when we were kids, if you had no balls, you just had your friends do it for you.”
“Or at the worst, you could call her on the phone.” “At least then you had to hear her cry.”
“The manliest way is still face to face.”
“I got my ass chewed because my oldest child is a drama queen and cried to Mom about unfair treatment. She claims I don’t treat her as well because she is not my biological daughter. Hell, she is 15 and I have raised her since she was a week shy of two. I love her like crazy. I have forgotten biology by now.”
“Sounds like they are in sync.”
“Menstrual cycles don’t really synchronize. That’s a myth. I have not observed that.”
“I got half-laid. I was on top of the old lady pounding away at the puss, when a child began crying. Obviously, the child required attention more than I did, so the wife got out of bed to attend to the matter. I waited a bit, long enough that I began to go limp, and the juice began to coagulate and peel like a snake-skin.”
“The psychology is too powerful. Somebody added DNA to the bastards, and they snapped overnight from sweet-innocent to manipulative-monster. Their theory on parents is to divide and conquer.”
“Fair and equal are not the same thing. Different kids have different needs. If I treat anybody differently, it has nothing to do with biology. If my treatment of children appears unequal, I can think of a few possible reasons; I am learning to be a better parent as I go. Any learning I gain, or change that the younger children benefit from does not make them my favorite. Another possible reason is that she is 15. I am cracking down on her because she is an active teenager who has learned all of Mom’s buttons. She is a master manipulator and turns her mother against me anytime she thinks she can benefit from it, without regard for what it is doing to our relationship.
Another reason is this; you see what you want to see and it is another item to which you can point when you are looking for my faults. That is what you do best. If I hate her so much, or love her less, why do I take time off from work to attend her games? Why do I worry about her boyfriends? Why do I buy new computers? Why do I get choked up over those songs about step-fathers or father-daughter relationships? Half the Man He Didn’t Have to Be; I Loved Her First. Why do I constantly forget she is not really mine? Why do I say she is part Hispanic on her elementary school questionnaires? She is 100% Bohunk, but when I filled out the Junior High demographics form, I filled in part Hispanic because I am. Why do I say, “You get that from your Grandpa,” when she shows promise in math and science? Oh, and most importantly, don’t forget this…FUCK OFF! I put in tremendous effort with her, I volunteered for the job when nobody else wanted it, and most importantly, where is it written that I have to? Where does it state that I should treat her the same as my biological children when she is not? I do it anyway because I love her as much as my own.”
“Dude, mellow out. Have another Morgan.”
“Maybe you should be having this conversation with your wife.”
“Nah, let’s just kill some more brain cells.”
“Alcohol does not kill brain cells. It simply damages the dendrites.”
“Well then, let’s damage some dendrites.” “Alcohol metabolizes as sugar.”
“No, it metabolizes as failure.”
“My Duong is not going to like this!” “What am I gonna tell My Duong?” “Where is My Duong?”
“Don’t you know?” “Is My Duong here?”
“My Duong is not going to like this!”
“I get the feeling My Duong is discharging soon.”
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